Very upset dd

[letitshine]

Today my dd came out of ballet and promptly burst in to tears, she is a lovely dancer who has had to work hard to get to the level and unfourtunatly is not at all flexible she obviously dances with girl who are incredibly flexible, I feel terrible what can I do to help her ....should she just quit..... What's the answer

[Jeanie]

Hyper flexibility is a necessity for freestyle disco but over extending isn't great for a ballet. If your dd can dance the choreographed movements beautifully, she shouldn't worry about box splits in warm-ups. However, if she wants to improve her flexibility then she can do a series of stretches everyday (there's load of examples on Youtube). It will work.

Never give up something you love.

Sending you both a big hug!

[2dancersmum]

Its not all about flexibility - especially in ballet. My DD is not the most flexible - she certainly cannot get her leg up by her head, although she can do the splits (she was about 14/15 before she mastered them). However, her teachers have always told her it is about control and strength in her movements. Leg height, for example is not as important as being able to maintain turnout,height etc to the music. She was always taught to master poistions/movements with a low leg and then work on raising it. Certainly it has not held her back. She has been done grades 1-8 RAD as well as inter-foundation, intermediate and advanced 1 and has just started 6th form at a vocational dance school after successful auditions last year. So - no if your DD is enjoying her dancing, don't give up. She just needs to concentrate on improving her own technique and not worry about anyone else. Bear in mind also, given that I believe your DD is still young, that puberty will have an effect also and levels of flexibilty vary through that time, often from week to week if they are growing fast so she really does need to concentrate on steady improvement and not worry about the 'tricks'

[riverdancefan]

Great advice from above posters, DS struggles to maintain flexibility partly due to laziness about stretching everyday.
Back catches and walk overs are great but not essential for ballet dancers
Please don't let her quit, she doesn't need tricks and it seems like she is doing really well, a stretch everyday and like already stated some great you tube links for stretching..... With some practice she will be AMAZED at how flexible she can get !
Keep going !!!!

[islandofsodor]

2dancersmum your post is very reassuring as dd is not flexible. It's a real weak point and we thought it would seriously hinder her chances of getting in anywhere later.

Part of the problem is she doesn't know what to do yo help as they don't really do much stretching in her ballet class just standard arm and barre warm ups. On another site I earnt ask this sort of question as there is a backlash against doing Nything not under supervision.

[Flosmom]

We have the opposite problem. Pandy is crazy bendy. She has hypermobility syndrome which means that her collagen isn't made the same as everyone else's. So she can bend, but she isn't strong - it takes much much more muscular strength for her to do everything because her ligaments and tendons don't 'hold' her joints.

Dance is great physiotherapy for her, but she can't do 'tricks' or even simple jumps ... Yet. As her muscle strength improves, she might combine bendy with strong and catch up with her peers.

I wish I could give your DDs just a bit of Pandy's bendiness, islandofsdor and letitshine - she has plenty to share! But for now all we can do us send hugs and a vague reassurance that flexibility isn't everything. If your DD does the stretches she is advised to do, her flexibility will be maintained or even improve and what she can't gain in flexibility she can make up for in strength, technique and interpretation. So if she enjoys her dance I'd give her every encouragement to continue, just as Pandy does, even if she can't always do everything that her friends can do.

Take care

Deb x

[letitshine]

Thank you for all the great advice, have passed it all on to my dd and she feels more confident, she's in a class where the girls are all so flexible and she feel embarrassed by her lack of it but hope she will be happier nxt week in class with the knowledge it's not the end if she can't do the splits and hyper mobility comes with its own issues too they all have there foibles but as long as they love it it's all good in the end .....will let you know nxt week how she gets on xxxx

[mathsmum]

master p is not naturally flexible - stretching every day helps him - also, with winter coming on, remember stretching works best in a warm room - and with a warm body - so never first thing, and preferably after a short aerobic session (eg running on spot) - ditto in classes - walk briskly at least part of the way there rather than driving her to the door

old california stretch books and the pink panther workout book (trawl amazon second hand and ebay) have helped master p - also yoga and pilates stretching

and do you any firm structure at home (mantlepiece, piano maybe) that work at the right height for a barre?

[letitshine]

Hi everyone, my dd has has a good week, when i asked her how class was she sais it was good and she had done well for her standard, which im pleased about as it means shes not comparing herself to other girls in her class but looking at how hard she is working and doing the best she can which is all anyone can do, thank you all for the advice been trying to do streches everyday but she is so busy at the moment that trying to fit it in is a nightmare i showed her the comments on here and they really helped so thank you

[Kitschqueen]

So glad your dd is feeling more positive.

[letitshine]

So glad your dd is feeling more positive.

Thank you me too

[nextinline]

This forum reminded me of when I was doing ballet examinations (obviously many moons ago) and the examiner was very interested in my arms. I have hper-mobility and whilst it can be fun to be able to do things that others can't, I agree with Flosmum who points out that hypermobility is not ideal either. My dad always said I would make an excellent apple tree on stage (very helpful) as I actually have to bend my arms to make them look straight like other peoples. Also as you get older your joints can ache if you don't look after them well. These postings just go to show that everybody is different and that we all have to make the most of what nature gave us