How to keep them positive after rejections ?

A place to talk about full time schools and post 16 training.

Moderator: busybusybusy

Post Reply
scottishdancer00
BRIT Award
Posts: 46
Joined: Thu Sep 21, 2017 2:06 pm

How to keep them positive after rejections ?

Post by scottishdancer00 »

DD just had a rejection ( reserve list, which she is taking as a rejection ) for NYCoS - something she got into last year - she’s a bit devastated because it’s in no way as competitive as drama school auditions are about to be and she has her first in 6 days time . Any advice on how to help her get her confidence back up because nycos is very classical singing and I know her voice is more MT but she doesn’t see that atm
User avatar
jasmine2
BAFTA Award
Posts: 630
Joined: Thu Mar 03, 2005 8:01 pm
Location: Hertfordshire

Re: How to keep them positive after rejections ?

Post by jasmine2 »

i think you have to try to reassure your DD that it was not that she was not right for that college, but that the college was not right for her.
Use that audition as a warm up/practise one and let her put it behind her. Remind her that there are hundreds that go for places at each college/uni.
Try to get auditions for your favoured places last, as by then she will be really confident in the pieces she is using x

Get her to sing something she really enjoys and that she is comfortable with. especially if it is for MT. Better to sing something well than to overcomplicate things.
I am sure that she will be offered somewhere..Which colleges is she going for?

Good luck and keep us posted :D
I believe that children are our future, teach them well and let them lead the way.......
Marissa
GRAMMY Award
Posts: 444
Joined: Tue Nov 28, 2017 9:25 pm

Re: How to keep them positive after rejections ?

Post by Marissa »

It's so hard isn't it x My daughters going through it now x So far two rejections MT Urdang and GSA which we kind of expected but she was heartbroken after Urdang x She has just got an unconditional for Gloucester which was her last choice but it had a lot to offer so we will see x Waiting to hear from Arden which she would absolutely love to be part of. Two more after xmas but that's it so right now she's not sure she will even be going to uni this year x I'm so glad she has had one offer. I shed a secret tear at the first first rejection because it's so hard and they try so hard don't they! I just explain it as it's hard first time and things will happen when they are meant to happen xxx
scottishdancer00
BRIT Award
Posts: 46
Joined: Thu Sep 21, 2017 2:06 pm

Re: How to keep them positive after rejections ?

Post by scottishdancer00 »

jasmine2 wrote:i think you have to try to reassure your DD that it was not that she was not right for that college, but that the college was not right for her.
Use that audition as a warm up/practise one and let her put it behind her. Remind her that there are hundreds that go for places at each college/uni.
Try to get auditions for your favoured places last, as by then she will be really confident in the pieces she is using x

Get her to sing something she really enjoys and that she is comfortable with. especially if it is for MT. Better to sing something well than to overcomplicate things.
I am sure that she will be offered somewhere..Which colleges is she going for?

Good luck and keep us posted :D
Thankyou ! She hasnt actually auditioned for a college yet, this was the National youth choir . She’s going for Mountview , SLP , RCS and then lots of local colleges which we think will be the realistic option for this year before hopefully London / England next year !! She has Mountview on the 3rd of January and while both her songs are good to go and one monologue is looking good her Shakespeare isn’t even memorised yet - simply because she spends all her time rushed off her feet I worry ( school , 2 jobs + performing ) . I think I will definitely ensure it’s the focus of tomorrow to get it learned . Thankyou for the encouragement!
scottishdancer00
BRIT Award
Posts: 46
Joined: Thu Sep 21, 2017 2:06 pm

Re: How to keep them positive after rejections ?

Post by scottishdancer00 »

Marissa wrote:It's so hard isn't it x My daughters going through it now x So far two rejections MT Urdang and GSA which we kind of expected but she was heartbroken after Urdang x She has just got an unconditional for Gloucester which was her last choice but it had a lot to offer so we will see x Waiting to hear from Arden which she would absolutely love to be part of. Two more after xmas but that's it so right now she's not sure she will even be going to uni this year x I'm so glad she has had one offer. I shed a secret tear at the first first rejection because it's so hard and they try so hard don't they! I just explain it as it's hard first time and things will happen when they are meant to happen xxx
Congratulations on your daughters unconditional, even though it’s not her first choice - these places aren’t easy to get ! Great advice too , so hard to keep their confidence up through this process x
Marissa
GRAMMY Award
Posts: 444
Joined: Tue Nov 28, 2017 9:25 pm

Re: How to keep them positive after rejections ?

Post by Marissa »

It is so hard and it looks like your like me x up every hour thinking about it x No one prepares you for this stress x My eldest daughter is in uni and her application was so easy compared to trying to get into MT x You have to remind them while reassuring that they are good enough that so many girls are after this dream too x Some places your competing against 2000 girls for 20 spaces! And they prefer you to be older have life experience etc so to get one offer first time around is brilliant as far as I'm concerned x My daughter is trying for NYMT and NYT soon too x
chivers61
GRAMMY Award
Posts: 102
Joined: Sat Nov 26, 2016 5:10 pm

Re: How to keep them positive after rejections ?

Post by chivers61 »

Marissa wrote:It is so hard and it looks like your like me x up every hour thinking about it x No one prepares you for this stress x My eldest daughter is in uni and her application was so easy compared to trying to get into MT x You have to remind them while reassuring that they are good enough that so many girls are after this dream too x Some places your competing against 2000 girls for 20 spaces! And they prefer you to be older have life experience etc so to get one offer first time around is brilliant as far as I'm concerned x My daughter is trying for NYMT and NYT soon too x
You've summed it up quite nicely. All DDs should be told from early on that it's a two or three year process and that if they're lucky they will get in first time. There is no rhyme nor reason as to why you do or don't get in from one college to the next. A very, very few are so good they get multiple offers first time round but that is not the norm. Then there's the funding angle - getting a funded offer if that's what's needed. To some extent this forum gives an unrepresentative reflection of what the reality is for most applicants. Most of us who are active on here and post a lot seem to be in the "first time successful" group.

We were a tale of two halves. Several rejections before Christmas then two offers in January. Maybe she just got better at it :D
performmum
BRIT Award
Posts: 33
Joined: Sat Mar 22, 2014 4:32 pm

Re: How to keep them positive after rejections ?

Post by performmum »

It’s a tough old industry for sure and whilst I hate To be a negative nelly each part of the process is harder and more emotionally challenging. In hindsight getting in to a decent college is the easy part.
Getting through college is tough!
Getting an agent after college is tough!
Watching their heartbreak as they audition for parts and get cut is brutal. Getting to the end of the audition process and then never hearing a word is horrible. Never getting any feedback on why they didn’t give you the job is difficult.
The industry is out of control, too many colleges , too much money, too many graduates and not enough work.
I would never have supported my DD to follow her dream if I had really realised how brutal it was - for them and for the parents.
Good luck to you, but your DD will face a career lifetime of rejections and it’s bloody tough xxx
User avatar
jasmine2
BAFTA Award
Posts: 630
Joined: Thu Mar 03, 2005 8:01 pm
Location: Hertfordshire

Re: How to keep them positive after rejections ?

Post by jasmine2 »

I would say apply for as many as you can afford. (I personally think that some of the audition fees are ridiculous, and that is obviously where they make a lot of their money..they call it 'Admin Fees'..lol)

Have you considered Bodyworks in Cambridge? or Emil Dale Academy in Hitchin?
DD has just graduated from Bodyworks and has been lucky enough to have worked professionally since then..

Good luck,,it is a tough business but I would say go for it... :D
I believe that children are our future, teach them well and let them lead the way.......
User avatar
Caroline A-C
BAFTA Award
Posts: 716
Joined: Sun Oct 26, 2008 6:46 pm

Re: How to keep them positive after rejections ?

Post by Caroline A-C »

When my ds was auditioning he had a couple of rejections and felt down about the process. However, he decided for his last audition that he probably would get another rejection so resolved to just go along and enjoy the experience and anything else was a bonus - hey presto he got in! I think the pressure was lifted and that made a huge difference to his performance. He has used this thinking ever since and it has been a huge help.
All new to me!
Post Reply