NotaPushyMum.Com

The only thing in my WHOLE life that was more terrifying than an piano exam was my driving test (and giving birth was less daunting than both!!!)

Yes I agree exams are good, but its much more fun to be taking part in local theatre productions, and charity events, etc., Gain loads of confidence as an all round performer, great tools for the future.

That's certainly an alternative viewpoint - to give up the teacher who has got her so far, and knows her (and she knows them) to throw in your hat with the people who set the exams, teach the pupils and then examine them in-house. Is their policy to encourage them to attempt exams early, and 'see' how they do, or prepare them solidly and then the exam is almost a formality? If you're paying for everything it's ok - but I do fear that whereas your singing teacher warned you, and you've said her voice has become unpredictable, then are you, at her stage of development, pushing a bit too hard. I've always looked at it a little like cars. A friendly, local back street garage who has lower overheads and an element of honesty due to them needing your business - compared to the main dealer who doesn't know you at all. They both access the same spare parts and work on the same products - but how many times do we hear the main dealers doing work that is unnecessary, or just expensive to keep their workshops busy?

Up to grade 8 I've always found local teachers give better value and more personal service. There are obviously rogues - but once you have a relationship with the teacher, I've found it nicer for the students. The stream of schoolkids stuck on a train on Saturday mornings going up to London don't seem to get better jobs in music than the same quality ones taught locally. They do, however, appear to be more focused (or blinkered) depending on your viewpoint. A local teacher is more likely to expose them to a wider range of music that the London centres, who run a more rigid schedule.

At the end of the day, it should be an enjoyable experience if it's essentially a hobby, whereas for those who know they want a career in music may well be able to put up with the rigid formal structure. With singing, it's absolutely critical to have a very skilled teacher who really understands the voice. The medical problems forcing the voice cause are pretty horrible - and treatment is rarely local and NHS, normally London clinic and private! Damage is so easy to do. I've heard so many younger people with lovely voices who go off the boil as their bodies change and their 'instrument' ages.

hi orangebear, i really hope your dd enjoys her experience and does well, she has such a beautiful voice and is very, very talented

You've misunderstood - I'm not suggesting you're pushing her too hard - I'm suggesting that if she has problems, and her voice has changed, then before proceeding you need to be sure if the slight downturn is natural, to do with her age, or something being overused, or under supported.

Personally, I believe showing support means trying to understand and assist - and possibly just to make people think a bit, and not to slap backs and not just make people think they've made the right decisions. You see this a lot when on many internet forums you get the "me too" posts, and not the "are you sure?". I'm certain you've looked at the info available to you and made a sensible choice for you and your daughter. I'm in touch with a large number of my ex-students and for every dancer doing well, there are more who have injuries and other long term problems, and nodules make frequent talking points in the singers. In the case of the singers, the number of expert doctors for singers is pretty small and most seem to live in Harley St!

The throwing your hats in comment is something often talked about in schools and colleges - there are a number of viewpoints, some working for you and some against. The people who design the exams, and then teach the kids to pass them need to be very careful, as they're in the awkward position of being capable of promoting their own exams by the success of their own teachers and students, compared with outside candidates. It's a difficult balance, and many music teachers seem to believe that they either over compensate and are actually tougher on their own candidates, or they believe they make it easier. I have no idea which is correct - but it's something people do need to think about.

I've no idea why you'd be upset by my comments - but if you took offence, I'm sorry I upset you - that wasn't my intention. I just think people do need to have slightly more open minds on music tuition.

If the kids want to do music, that's great - it's fallen behind in popularity to performing arts now, national qualifications wise - so I do believe we should promote it - I just worry more about singing because you can't do much damage to yourself with a flute, but you only have one set of vocal chords.

Well said paulears you sound as if you certainly know and care for the younger voice, wish there were more like you around. I just think you were misunderstood.

I'm not a singing teacher myself, but when I was teaching at 16+ in colleges, it was really common to see students who would tag themselves as 'singers' who'd had training ranging from singer teachers who needed a good kick to the prestigious London colleges. We also had the benefit of an ex-jazz singer, who'd worked for 40 years plus all over the world, who'd retired to the area - and although her style was different, she was the one who paid the most attention to the basic support and breathing needed. She was excellent at spotting early signs of strain and stress - and the local more operatic style teacher seemed more interested in results in their grades. We also had people who thought they were trained singers but had been taught really badly - and these were the real worries - our singing teacher would try to explain that if they carried on, they really wouldn't have a voice, but the usual responses was that their singing teacher had been in Les Miserables for years and was infinitely better qualified, and they said it was fine. What can you do?

You can buy a new flute if you bend it. Voices are quite delicate when people are still growing and developing, and very often the people themselves don't feel the damage they may be doing. When they are tired, just one more attempt can be very destructive - but until they're old enough to know their own voice really well, they need to follow outsider's advice. I don't really think parents are the best judges - sometimes because they don't hear the same things, but sometimes, sadly, they push by encouragement for the one last go at the difficult bit - and it's this that makes me cringe.

The members on this forum are all wanting the same thing for their kids - the best they can manage. Perfectly understandable. At audition time, I once heard a 15/16 year old who wanted a place sing in a style totally unsuitable for her size - think Kylie Minogue size, but Alison Moyet style - and what came out was a strangled mess. Not known for my tact or diplomacy, I asked if she had a singing teacher - her mum said yes, and I told her to get a new one! She laughed, but I really meant it!

I've read with interest these posts as my daughter began singing lessons last November with a local teacher (who was recommended) and always seems to thoroughly enjoy her lessons. It has only now been suggested she start working towards exams and she is to have an extra exam lesson per week to work towards completing ABRSM Grades 1-5 in a year. Is that possible? I wasn't concerned as I was confident in the teacher we had chosen but reading this I'm now not sure.
I read one post that said about puberty being well under way for a certain level. My DD is only just 11 but has ALL the bells and whistles of puberty already ( ) so is more mature than her peers, she is however still very new to "real" singing as I call it.
Would what the teacher is suggesting be too much to take on?

My dd started did Grade 2 at 10 and then 1 exam each year till she reached Grade 5. To be honest sounds a bit extreme Grade 5 in the first year and then there's the oral side of the exam. Is she familiar with music theory ? We are talking about ABRSM ? I think the teacher is putting to much pressure for your dd, what is the rush ?

I don't understand why she is doing all the grades when it is only the highest grade you achieved that anyone will really be interested in. I can see that you might do one lower grade than your teacher thinks you are capable of. My dd started singing lessons at Easter and the teacher told her she could enter her for grade 3 or 4 straight away as she was up to that ability in her opinion. We opted for level 3 as she is only 8 and there is no rush, but also to give her confidence and experience of the exam process. Then when she comes to do the harder grades she will know what to expect and the element of 'the fear of the unknow' is not an issue.

Perhaps her teacher is proposing working through the lower grades as preparation for Grade 5 in 12 month time? I might have misunderstood
I have been asked to get all the books 1-5 so I'm not sure.

Ah. That sounds like Grade 5 theory preparation. That's definitely achievable by working through the books!

Trust pg to come up with the answer, that makes much more sense. I thought your dd would be taking all 5 exams in the one year but I agree with pg, she is probably working through the theory books to build up her theory knowledge to level 5.