NotaPushyMum.Com

Ds (aged 8 ) has always been a really keen performer. Over the next few months he has 3 local theatre productions and a big part, including a singing solo, in the school play. He's really looking forward to all this but is quite nervous. Although he loves to perform and picks things up very quickly, the one thing that seems to go against him is a series of nervous tics. I would say that he's had all sorts of tics over the years and they often get worse around the time of performances.

I caught the tail end of one of his rehearsals last night and although he looked confident in his dance moves and was singing well, it was punctuated with shoulder rolls and funny grimaces. In shows he will tend to roll his neck/shoulders or contort his face while he's stood still on stage but once he's engrossed in dancing or talking then he's OK. I've tried not to mention it, in the hope that it would go away of its own accord, but this has been going on for a few years (some times worse than others) and I wonder if drawing attention to it could actually help. Last night I kindly mentioned that they should probably stand still and not fidget when on stage and he said "I know but when I'm nervous my body just does all these things and I can't do anything about it". So, at least he's aware that he's doing it. I suggested that maybe he should withold the urges and channel the energy into his performance. I'm not sure I did the right thing and don't know if I should mention it again. I'm reluctant to mention it to the director, in case she says anything that could make it worse!

Anybody been through something similar?

I work with children of various ages and have noticed one or two get little tics similar to what you describe and quite often they do just disappear. I do think however it is worth mentioning it to your doctor when next passing just to reassure yourself and ask their advice, they'll have oviously been there and got the t-shirt.

I can recommend something - I find it really helps my nerves and gives me better control of my voice and my facial expressions. It's just a herbal rememdy spray for your tongue called Bach's rescue remedy. It's in a yellow bottle, just very small, and it says that it's for day time. They sell it in Boots. I'm aware they also have a product especially for kids? Either way, it's harmless. I hope that helps!

My dd suffers from anxiety and trouble sleeping. She lays awake at night worrying and things just go around her head and build up. Bach's rescue remedy really seems to help her. She just puts a few drops on her tongue and instantly feels a little better. Could all be in her head, but as wildgingerthing says it doesnt do any harm so its definately worth a try. xxx

The adult rescue remedy contains alcohol which may go some way to the good feeling of stress-relief you get from it, albeit a tiny amount
the kids version is alcohol-free...
My DS also takes it.
As a nurse I would recommend all tics are checked out by a paediatrician, I guess you would have done that as you say he has had various ones for a while...

Hi Wendy, I can empathise with your dilemma as my daughter started with a pronounced head tic and grimace when she began gymnastic and dance competitions at around the age of 9. Tics are often related to anxiety (though they can be present in other disorders) and any NHS intervention would be by your local child and adolescent mental health team.
Like your son, my daughter was aware that she was doing this and she felt she needed to do it in order to relieve the stress she was feeling (it was ritualistic). Also like you I was concerned that I did not want to make a big deal of it and make things worse but at the same time wanted to ease her distress as she became very self-conscious and other children would comment on it (though thankfully she was never bullied).
I did get informal advice from my local CAMHS team and they advised to teach distraction and relaxation techniques. This may work for your son especially as he is aware he is doing it. Instead of grimacing you get them to do something else that is less noticable ie curling and uncurling their toes, a smaller movement with their fingers and hands and also get them to concentrate on and regulate their breathing.
They also advised to reduce her exposure to stressful situations but she was having none of that!!!
I also used to give her lots of praise and reassurance when she was trying hard to manage it.
I have to say that she did continue to compete and as she has got older (she is now 15) the tic has in the main disappeared. She no longer does gymanastics but has continued with her dancing to a high level and now and again when she is at an audition or competition I notice a small head shake but no-one else does.
Feel free to PM me if you want more information but please be reassured that it will get better over time and your GP will refer DS if you want this or it begins to impact on him negatively. Best wishes

We had a similar thing with DS for a while when he was about 9. It all started when we realised he was allergic to dry ice, and he started wrinkling up his nose to stop it from running and stop the itchy feeling during shows. It then got to be a bit of a habit, and he would do it on and off stage. He was aware he was doing it, but we didn't make a big thing of it, and he eventually just stopped doing it.

I'm sure your DS will slowly grow out of it, but the curling/uncurling your toes is a great idea - wish we'd thought of it!!

Also, if its any consolation, we noticed DS was doing it and thought it was really obvious on stage, but nobody else seemed to notice, and no mention was ever made of it by any directors, cast members, other kids etc.

Thanks for all the advice. I really like the idea of diverting it into less noticable movements, such as toe curling. Nobody else has mentioned it to me or ds either, but they may just be too polite.

riverdancefan, no we haven't taken him to the doctor's. I was really hoping it would go away of its own accord. I always thought drawing attention to it would make a big deal of it and make it worse. Maybe I should consider it though.

I really understand where you are coming from Wendy - and you know him best, the last think you want is to make him self-conscious and anxious..
I am sure it is a straight-forward tic, and it is actually more common that we would think (I work in primary care and see children that have different types of tics fairly regularly, mainly primary school age or younger.
There is always a minute and I mean minute chance it could be something else..and that should always be discounted, but your GP would be the obvious referral on there, whatever happens in your PCT..
I know in mine it is a paediatric referral and he/she then signposts on to the appropriate agency, IF anything is needed, they may just leave him well-alone IYSWIM


tricky one I know