NotaPushyMum.Com

Over the weekend, something a bit odd happened and it made me think.

A show in a council run theatre - quite a nice one, and the show was a variety type show, with two well known comperes/comedians who linked various music acts (including me and my tribute band). In the afternoon, we did some rehearsals and all the people in the show were chatting and watching each other. One of the acts was a Beverley Sisters routine - and I was joking with the girls because they were so young and I was (being a lot older) surprised they were even interested in music from the wartime - think Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy. After the show - with their makeup off, they were collected by their mum,and we waved bye at stage door. Youngest was 12!

Obviously, everything was fine - but it got me wondering. Surely they should have been properly chaperoned? In this day and age, this chaperoning, as I know from my christmas activity, is not just for protecting the kids, but the other people too. The theatre were unaware of their age - just a list of acts expected at stage door, and nobody gave it any thought - we were just surprised and a bit impressed at the end, but it's wrong. Had we known they were young, I do know some of the jokes one of the guys were telling in the wings would have made me a bit awkward.

Have any of you had this kind of experience? Dance shows, Amdram and that kind of thing have well organised chaperoning - but this bunch of talented teenagers must be doing quite a few shows, with nobody realising they're as young as they are? Is this common?
Paul

Well you know Paul, if one were mine I'd be there

But from all the stuff DD has done I am generally one of the odd mums that go too; even now she is 18, a new photographer and I went too photographer was a bit surprised

The line between cautious and over protecting is quite blurred

Public place & lots of people prob OK, private place/room prob OK but I'll go too

Theatre? 12? I'd be there - I wonder how you could justify NOT going with a 12yo?

The even more worrying thing was that dressed up in WW2 uniforms, and makeup, nobody knew, or even bothered - lost count of "how old, wow - didn't she do well!"

Were any of the group 'adult'?

If not & if there is no other responsible adult - it could almost be seen at neglenct

They should have been chaperoned if it was part of a theatre variety type show.

But music acts/choirs/bands etc are different & if that's the background they came from (gigs rather than theatre) they probably wernt aware.

My DS was the only child in an Amdram show last year and after me staying at lots of rehearsals (because the only licensed chaperone wasn't able to stay at every one), the director told me that actually a chaperone is only needed for performances and not rehearsals. If this is true, then maybe it's (legally) OK that the Beverly Sisters were unchaperoned for the rehearsal as long as something was sorted for the actual show. Still doesn't seem quite right though.

Well the rehearsal had their parents watching from the audience. Show wise - all the security doors were shut, so nobody backstage apart from the performers. My kids pack that I use for panto makes no distinction (sensibly, I think) between rehearsals and performances. The Director surely doesn't think inappropriate activity is more likely during a show, rather than at a rehearsal where people often are less busy and there is plenty of 'down time'? Seems a bit naive to me. My rules start as soon as the kids arrive and are in the building. If they are vulnerable people, then they're vulnerable.

I do also think that the protection for other people - the cast and crew for example is just as important. Nobody wants any problems and I've plenty of first hand evidence of the young people causing issues. Not deliberately, but quite oblivious. As an example, I had a 17 year old in one show who was becoming really good friends with one of the 15 year olds. I had to have both in the office, with her chaperone and explain quite bluntly why this was really impossible. Neither understood it. Nothing problematic had occurred, but their friendship had been noted and I'd had numerous 'quiet words' from cast crew and the chaperones. Totally innocent stuff and no problem - but everyone apart from the two involved were concerned. Equally, I'm aware of people who do have contact with kids who have had issues in the past. One I know can only have contact with kids with another adult present. I know this, but I'm not allowed to tell anyone else who doesn't know. I'm constantly amazed by where the quite rigid systems fall down - usually through ignorance rather than intent.

The example above of the 12 year old performing on stage is probably common. I've never seen a contract with any mention of age on it. The acts have websites, they have flyers and posters. These don't reveal age. A theatre would book the act by name, get a contract back, and put the show on. When they arrive I don't think many of the ones I visit would ask any questions at all. At stage door, people come in. If they're on the list, they go to the dressing rooms. They do their rehearsals, and then the show. Nobody is going to ask if somebody is 16 and safe to work with, or 15 and not!

We have complicated and quite strict systems - but few people at the venues really understand them.